


Are you my friend?

by kryptonianmenace



Category: Homestuck, The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Homestuck 2: Beyond Canon, Not Canon Compliant - Homestuck 2: Beyond Canon, The Homestuck Epilogues, The Homestuck Epilogues: Meat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:35:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23873263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kryptonianmenace/pseuds/kryptonianmenace
Summary: What if the cherub poison from being bitten by Lord English turned John into the Hunger?---“To have friendship, Merle, it requires you to…” you sigh. “Love someone. And, be invested in your shared happiness. And these things, Merle, friendship and love and happiness, they’re- they’re all so… small. In the grand scheme of things, Merle,” you laugh, “they last a second."
Comments: 9
Kudos: 30





	Are you my friend?

**Author's Note:**

> Took some quotes directly from TAZ. I don't own either work.

You didn’t keep an eye on the corpse in the wallet. What are you? Some kind of idiot?

No, shut up. Don’t talk back.

Surely you know what cherub venom does to a human?

You don’t?

Hmm. Tragic.

* * *

Your name is John. You can’t remember much, but that feels right.

Your name is John, yeah.

You’re feeling like shit --

No wait.

You’re feeling a bit better?

You’re feeling almost…

Hungry.

* * *

Everything was consumed. I won’t bullshit you, I’m not as eloquent as your previous narrator. I can’t paint you a word picture of what happened.

But your previous narrator, though you may have enjoyed his orange hue, can’t explain what’s happening.

The world that the Theseus had come to was consumed.

How, you ask?

Well, it started with a corpse, and a wallet, and well…

And a need for a start to another story.

* * *

You don’t know how you survived, but I could tell you.

Don’t be stubborn.

It was your friend. There was still a little bit of him left in the all-consuming end. 

For now.

* * *

The unnamed ship caught up to the Theseus eventually. It was only a matter of time with the crash and the crew sitting in shock.

There were fights, sure. Arguments, physical strife, the works. As can be expected when one takes over the narrative and fucks off to a new world out of nowhere.

* * *

“Where’s John?” Dave asks.

It’s simple, really. Check the wallet, you think. That’s where he’s been since he died.

Except he’s not there.

“Terezi, where’s Egbert’s corpse?” Dirk asks.

The word corpse ruffles some feathers again, as can be expected, but you’re too in shock.

The only thing left in the wallet is a scent, one rancid enough that you can trace it.

It’s going in the same direction as the all-consuming monster that ate your new world.

* * *

You’re so hungry.

You’re so lonely.

* * *

“We have to go after him,” you insist. 

“Terezi, he’s dead,” Rose says.

You know that. You were there when he died. But something isn’t sitting right.

“A corpse doesn’t just crawl out of a wallet,” you say.

You’re right.

But then again, what do you know?

You’ve never been this corpse, have you?

* * *

You remember…

You remember thinking…

Life is pretty fucking terrible.

That… doesn’t feel right.

You used to be pretty optimistic, you think.

But in your heart, you feel like life is horrible.

To exist, to live, is horrible.

And this doesn’t feel right, but it doesn’t feel wrong.

* * *

The unnamed ship goes after the corpse, following in the wake of its destruction.

Decades in the future, a ship comes about in front of the destruction.

You follow, it flees.

* * *

The Starblaster is not much, but it’s better than the unnamed ship following the Hunger.

The Starblaster was made by professionals. The unnamed ship was made by a man who never graduated high school.

But the unnamed ship has been lasting longer, and will continue to last.

* * *

The crew of the Starblaster is vastly different than those trailing the Hunger.

For one, when they die, they come back. Reset in a way that is almost cheating. Like the story wants them alive.

Like the story is attached.

* * *

The humans on the unnamed ship could live forever as long as they didn’t do anything Heroic or Just.

The trolls aren’t so lucky. They aren’t God Tiers.

Karkat is the first to pass, after a mishap in the aftermath of yet another decimated world. Only Dave knows what happened, and he won’t tell the rest of the crew.

Why should I tell you? It’s between them.

Let a man grieve how he wants.

* * *

You meet a man named Merle, who wants to be your friend.

You haven’t had friends in a long time.

But you’re so twisted now that you can’t handle friendship anymore.

So you kill him.

But he keeps coming back.

* * *

Before you pass, Terezi, you work with Dirk to set up a system that can still track the rancid trail of John’s corpse you’ve been following for decades.

You hate to do it, but you know you won’t live forever, and they need a way to track him that isn’t you.

You die in a world made of mushrooms, the air deadly. You die thinking of John’s death, and his failed love confession, and what could have beens.

* * *

“Now that we have this rapport going, now do you trust me enough to tell me your name?” he asks. And yeah, it makes sense he would want your name.

“I believe it-- I believe it was John,” you say. John… you can’t remember the last part. “It’s been so long, Merle, you have to understand. I haven’t been John for a bit, but probably--”

“Why is that exactly?”

“For the sake of--”

“Whaddya been doing all this time when you haven’t been John?”

And you don’t… Know. But at the same time, you do. It’s the hunger in you.

* * *

“I just, I want to grow, Merle.”

* * *

Merle doesn’t know how to quantify the Hunger -- John, as he is called. He wants to grow, and who could fault him for that? But he’s destructive, and though he says there is no malice, it feels like it is.

But as time goes on, that feeling of malice goes away.

And he starts to wonder.

“Are you my friend?”

* * *

“To have friendship, Merle, it requires you to…” you sigh. “Love someone. And, be invested in your shared happiness. And these things, Merle, friendship and love and happiness, they’re- they’re all so… small. In the grand scheme of things, Merle,” you laugh, “they last a second. And I just don’t…” you sigh. “What brings you happiness Merle? I know that the game is over but what- what brings you joy, Merle? Please, I-- give me this freebie I-- just tell me.”

“What brings me joy is… life. I think you can find joy anywhere, in life. I think it’s a conscious choice. I think you- you choose joy, in life. And no matter how bad things are, no matter how crummy, no matter how dark, no matter how many times some guy named John kills your ass-- You find joy. I’ve found joy. Honest to God gettin’ to know ya, I’ve found joy playin’ chess with ya,” He laughs. “I have enjoyed-- I haven’t enjoyed, you know, gettin’ my-- my ass killed, but I-- I find joy whatever I do. I don’t always do things right, and I don’t always do things smart. And I don’t always do a character voice. But whatever I do, I find joy in it. Because, at the end of the day, that’s all you got, is lookin’ back on the joy you had and the joy you found and the joy you gave other people.”

Huh.

That hurts to hear.

But not as much as bearing your views and getting in return

“Kiss my ass, you sanctimonious bastard.”

You frown.

And you say

“Huh. I feel sad.”

And you kill him.

* * *

The unnamed ship reaches the Hunger just in time for the day of Story and Song, hearing about the Starblaster crew, hearing about the Hunger from the perspective of those fleeing.

They’ve been chasing it for so long, seeing the aftermath that it left behind that they had stopped thinking about the sheer terror of what it must be like to experience it firsthand. But now they were.

They reach the IPRE team just before they enact their plan.

* * *

“We need to speak to him,” Dave insists.

Taako scoffs. Magnus narrows his eyes.

“What for?” Merle asks.

“This isn’t him. This isn’t John Egbert,” Dave says.

He’s been slowly spiraling out of control since Terezi passed, maybe even since  Karkat. Rose is worried, but there’s only so much she can do over a century.

“He died from cherub poison,” Roxy says. “We don’t know what that does to a human, but if it’s anything like their jujus, it corrupts you. Changes how you think.”

“He looks pretty alive to me,” Taako says.

“He was a corpse for a solid three years before it corrupted him,” Dirk says, blunt as ever. “I saw the corpse. I made sure his corpse was on my ship. He was dead.”

“He was our friend,” Rose says. “At least let us say goodbye.”

And that’s what does it.

* * *

This isn’t how the story is supposed to go, you think.

There aren’t supposed to be so many people.

So many…

Familiar faces?

* * *

“John Egbert,” the man in the round shades says, almost laughing.

You are fractured, full opal plasma, clad in a suit.

Egbert?

Only Merle calls you John.

John Egbert?

“John,” he repeats. “We’ve missed you, you windy shit.”

“I-- What?” You say.

“It’s been over a century, John,” says the robot girl, who apart from being a robot, looks like she could be related to the man in the shades. “Do you remember us?”

“Where is the Light of Creation?” you ask, ignoring the confusion and fear bubbling inside you.

This isn’t like with Merle.

Merle, who you desperately want to see. 

You want a friendly face.

You are fracturing. You are John and not the Hunger right now.

These people are confusing you.

They sigh.

“John.”

* * *

You are the Prince of Heart.

A Prince destroys. This is the rule of the game. Heart means soul. You know this.

You step forward to John, ignoring the warning from Roxy.

You press a hand to the fractured parts of him, and you think about Jake’s hope bubbles. You think of Roxy pulling things from the void.

You think of how all the other’s call on their God Tier powers.

And you knock the wind out of the Heir of Breath as he collapses to the ground.

* * *

You recognize Dirk just as he kills you.

You are almost…

Grateful?

And Rose, Dave, Jade, and Roxy are there, too.

You are not alone as you die.

You are surrounded by friends.

* * *

The IPRE crew watches as the man in the pointed shades calls upon the bonds in the bond engine of the Starblaster, almost absentmindedly, and presses a hand to the Hunger.

John collapses to the ground, eyes widening in recognition for a split second.

* * *

In the distant reaches of a world long abandoned, a clock strikes Just.

**Author's Note:**

> [Check out my tumblr!](https://haljordanisbatman.tumblr.com/)


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